It has been a year since I started this little journey of my “so called” daily blogs. A lot has happened over year 2017. Some incidents were so powerful that they changed my life completely for good and some mishaps were so bad that it altered my thinking completely. I wanted to just get over with 2017 as except for two very very good things, the year had been tough for me and for people I love and care for. So, I got detached to this blog as I was not able to find happiness in anything but in 2018 goals.
Hence, I dived in my journals even before the year 2018 could begin. I made plan of how amazing I am going to make this year for me and my future which I am so thrilled about. I have plans to make more plans to get to a point where I do what I aim to do and what I am designed to do.
Has it happened with you that you feel like you can do more? It happens a lot with me. I feel I am at a place where I don’t belong. I feel I am destined to take bigger risks and do a lot more than I am doing it right now. Not get me wrong, I am not ungrateful at all. On the contrary I feel a bit of stoic thinking I am where I am supposed to be. I am moving at a pace I am supposed to move and that I am learning the lessons I am supposed to learn. But what do I do with all that stock of energy reservoir ? I feel so damn restless and so damn useless when I spend yet another day at doing mediocre work which anyone with some talent can do or maybe can do better than I can ever do. I feel angry and hurt when I once again come back home physically tired and mentally charged up. Its not strange at all for me to end up in tears of restlessness of figuring out that ONE thing at which I should pour all my energies. I don’t know how to say it, but I feel like a jack of all trades and I am yearning to find that ONE thing I am master at.
BUT, even tough I am restless, clueless and tired. What I am not is AIMLESS. I have a vision and I have faith. So I do not care at the amount of time it takes for me to get to my sweet spot, I just know I will get there.
So my 2018 is all about me finding my way to Greenland.