It has been a year since I started this little journey of my “so called” daily blogs. A lot has happened over year 2017. Some incidents were so powerful that they changed my life completely for good and some mishaps were so bad that it altered my thinking completely. I wanted to just get over with 2017 as except for two very very good things, the year had been tough for me and for people I love and care for. So, I got detached to this blog as I was not able to find happiness in anything but in 2018 goals.
Hence, I dived in my journals even before the year 2018 could begin. I made plan of how amazing I am going to make this year for me and my future which I am so thrilled about. I have plans to make more plans to get to a point where I do what I aim to do and what I am designed to do.
Has it happened with you that you feel like you can do more? It happens a lot with me. I feel I am at a place where I don’t belong. I feel I am destined to take bigger risks and do a lot more than I am doing it right now. Not get me wrong, I am not ungrateful at all. On the contrary I feel a bit of stoic thinking I am where I am supposed to be. I am moving at a pace I am supposed to move and that I am learning the lessons I am supposed to learn. But what do I do with all that stock of energy reservoir ? I feel so damn restless and so damn useless when I spend yet another day at doing mediocre work which anyone with some talent can do or maybe can do better than I can ever do. I feel angry and hurt when I once again come back home physically tired and mentally charged up. Its not strange at all for me to end up in tears of restlessness of figuring out that ONE thing at which I should pour all my energies. I don’t know how to say it, but I feel like a jack of all trades and I am yearning to find that ONE thing I am master at.
BUT, even tough I am restless, clueless and tired. What I am not is AIMLESS. I have a vision and I have faith. So I do not care at the amount of time it takes for me to get to my sweet spot, I just know I will get there.
So my 2018 is all about me finding my way to Greenland.
Don’t be afraid of life.
Don’t be afraid of loss.
Have faith in your own capability to turn the situation around. If you stay put, you are a winner.
Somedays are so amazing that you feel the world is yours to concur and then comes days like today where you feel like you don’t belong.
I don’t know if it’s my insecurities which are kicking in today or my intuition.
After a very long time I saw a good movie: The Intern.
There is so much I can say about the movie but I am just going to urge my friends to watch it.
If you have a zeal to make something out of this life then this is for you. If you are in love then this is for you. If your innocence has not been taken away even after a life long struggle then this is for you. If you have been the one who got cheated upon then watch this. If you cheated on your partner then please watch this. If you have a friend whose life looks familiar to the post then watch it.
It’s a story well.said about someone who doesn’t want to give up on himself because of age and someone who doesn’t want to give up because it’s tough.
clip from the movie:
Watch it here
There is something about dreams. If you have them then you can never let them go and if you get a slightest of chance in life to materialize it then it becomes your only desire.
I am glad I never let you go, my dream.
Even when it was wise to let go and more on. I hung on to you.
Also when it seemed like I was making a fool of myself. I held you tighter.
When someone almost broke you piece by piece. I gathered you and kept you safe.
No one knew I still had you with me and I faked it very well in front of those people.
I am so glad I still have you. Do you sense it too that its time you come into my life.
Yes, M’dear Dream.
We are on!
I am so infinitely happy that he loves me so much, and I pray that it will always be like this. It won’t be my fault if he ever stops loving me.
It was a much awaited Sunday. I spent most of the day contemplating and staying connected to my inner silence. I think I would love to go days without uttering a word. Lets see.
I tried something new this time and I feel that you can give it a try too. So, to get into the details – I am a planner. From as long as I remember myself, I loved planning and it was all about goals and never about the actual execution of things which would lead me to the goal. Three years ago, when I actually realized this problem in my planning, I switched my thought from goal to actions. That is when I realized that I over plan.
But even though I reduced the goals to bites for me to have time to action on them, I was still over planning. Hence, last year, I ended up straining myself a lot with trying to achieve everything at the same time. So, this time, I changed my process.
Last night, till 4 AM in the morning, I brainstormed all the things that I want to get done in the coming year. Now, I have to choose any two major one’s which will be my motto for the year 2018 and then I need to find a window of time for all the other things. I also have to do a tough job of letting go of some goal.
This is a new process for me and I really wish this would help me in achieving what I must achieve.